Time to Quit

So, I’ve just decided to stop torturing myself over this. Getting sick to the stomach, crying all the time, obsessing, always wondering what more can I do or could have done.

I’m talking about my hopeless love story.. Well, can’t even call it that. A one-sided doesn’t make a story.. A story needs a plot; something has to happen, but nothing ever did. So yeah.. I’m setting myself free.. Finally being kinder to myself and realizing that I deserve better.

My only excuse for getting myself into this situation is that I’ve never felt like that before about anyone, and I’ve roamed the face of earth long enough. Otherwise, there was absolutely nothing new there. The same game. And it’s game over!

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Why am I doing this?

Blogging has become a thing from the past, right? Nobody reads blogs anymore. Instagram and Snapchat are the new comers. Better yet YouTube, for those who are daring enough to film themselves talking and spare us the pain of reading.

I’m old-fashioned.. Not only with technology. I believe that I was deserted somehow into the now. So blogging it is. Oh the joys of being invisible and avoiding attention. Believe it or not, I’ve had my share of being in the spotlight and it is so overrated. These people who crave fame, I feel sorry for them. I used to be like that one day.. Until I realized how isolated I have become.. most of all from reality. Keeping it real in today’s world requires such an effort, you know? We’re all sucked into this virtual reality and the distance separating us from each other is growing while it is supposed to be shrinking. You’ll be having a meal at the same table with family or friends, yet each of you is on their phones, preoccupied with what others are doing. We’re more interested in strangers I suppose, along with catching up on what’s trending. Nobody can afford to miss that!.. That’s the ultimate sin of our days.. Well, your days.. I do not belong here.

Which brings me to the main question.. WTF am I doing? And why write at all. Well, I do have quite a story to tell, so that can be entertaining, good material there for all the curious millennials. However, I will confess that I am doing this primarily for myself, as no one care to listen and no one can hold a conversation anyway. We pay money to therapists to do that. Don’t get me started on the new jobs which were brought into existence accordingly, like life coaching! Seriously?

So, unwilling to fall for such scams, I decided to let it out in the open, whatever is piling up inside my chest and overcrowding my mind. I’m tidying up as one of my new year resolutions. Helping myself to break free from all this noise that is eating me.. before I go insane.